


The Improbable Horrors of Colgate

by quirkypunk



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Embarrassed Steve, Fluff, Love, M/M, Pancakes, Sleepy Tony, Stony - Freeform, amused Tony, domestic stony, grumpy tony, steve discovers electric toothbrushes, steve learns about the future, stony oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirkypunk/pseuds/quirkypunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve learns more about the future and Tony wishes they were both asleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Improbable Horrors of Colgate

“Tony! Tony help!” Steve yelled running into their room wearing only small white briefs.

“Too early… Go away,” Tony mumbled from in between the sheets and pillows.

“Tony no, listen! I accidentally almost used your toothbrush and I think I picked it up too roughly because it’s broken,” Steve said looking alarmed.

“A broken toothbrush definitely doesn’t top my list of worries Steve… Come back to bed…” Tony moaned opening his eyes slightly.

“No no not like broken in half! It’s like exploding or something! Tony help this is serious! I think it might be counting down! It could be like, like a small bomb!” Steve continued to gush agitated. 

“What do you mean bomb? Last time I checked, Colgate wasn’t in the midst of some kinky terror plot. It’s a fucking oral brand. Do you think I laced a bomb into the thing?” Tony asked grumpy at being woken up.

“Ugh no! But it’s like, okay this is gonna sound crazy but it’s vibrating Tony!” Steve exclaimed looking horrified.

The brown haired of the two tried to stifle his laughter but just a peek at Steve’s still sincerely red face broke him. 

“Why are you laughing!? Your toothbrush might be about to blow this whole place down!” Steve half-yelled looking confused and worried.

Tony continued to laugh unashamedly as he took in Steve’s nearly naked torso posed in the Captain America “justice-for-all (even rowdy toothbrushes)” stance.

“Tony… what even?” the blonde sighed defeated. “This is serious…”

The brown haired man managed to calm himself down before responding, “No honestly Steve, your melodramatic eyebrows are the only serious things at the moment.”

Steve scowled looking slightly embarrassed and plopped himself next to Tony on their bed.

“I just forgot you’re still so new to all this tech stuff. You’ve probably been too busy playing hero to notice but I kinda figured you’d have heard of an electric toothbrush by now Rogers,” Tony grinned playing with a bit of Steve’s golden crown of hair.

“It’s not dangerous then?” Steve asked meekly.

“Nah not dangerous,” Tony replied after stifling another bout of laughter.  
“Oh my gosh I feel so stupid now.” Steve smiled sitting up and covering his face in his hands.

Chuckling, Tony sat up as well and shifted Steve so that the blonde was sat on his lap.

“You’re not dumb. Just kinda innocent… but in a cute way.” Tony reassured pecking Steve on the jawline.  
“I really can’t believe you didn’t know about electric toothbrushes though,” he added and Steve punched his boyfriend’s arm just forcefully enough to remind Tony that he was going out with Captain America.

“Careful buddy, you ain’t got much on me without the suit,” Steve teased pushing Tony back until he was completely reclined.

“Get off you goof,” Tony struggled pushing at Steve’s unmoving torso.

“C’mon, goof? I’m hurt. You usually reserve better for me,” Steve grinned.

“Get off you 20’s assed patriarchal uniform covered slut,” Tony tried again laughing as Steve sported a sarcastic offended expression.

“Now I’m definitely not moving… I mean, slut? I’ve been living with you since December Tony. All I do is make pancakes!” Steve joked grabbing Tony’s hands in his own and playing with them.

“Touché. Could you go do that now and stop making me feel more indignant with each passing struggle then?” the sarcastic scientist asked.

“Oui, pancakes are good…” Steve responded, losing interest in having dominance over his boyfriend and more excited at the prospect of fluffy circles of grain.

“I swear you’re like a child,” Tony said shaking his head as Steve threw on one of his t-shirts and jogged to the kitchen.

“A child who makes awesome pancakes and happens to be Captain America.” Steve shouted from the kitchen. “You’re lucky I exist Stark.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Tony mumbled to himself before throwing himself back onto their bed and making it cozy. 

“I want breakfast in bed by the way Cinderella!” Tony yelled eyes already shut.

“Watch it Stark. I could down all of these before they even reached your pretty mouth,” Steve responded laughing.

Tony nodded and shrugged to himself almost drunkenly as a response before falling into an easy sleep filled with dreams of Steve’s pancakes and the improbable horrors of Colgate.

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't written anything in a while so I thought a domestic stony drabble would be easy enough to just pop out there. Hope you guys enjoy regardless that it's super short.


End file.
